It’s about time.

Everywhere I look the world conspires to remind me that time is short. Obituaries of people my age or younger jump off the page.  Photographs of school friends, who look like their parents, cause me to stop and check the mirror in a panic: “Dear God! Do I look that old”?  Watching a younger sibling build a retirement home and then freaking retiring!  Seeing Minnesota friends and contemporaries, begin to winter in Phoenix.  Although, this may just be proof that old dogs can finally learn new tricks… it’s flipping cold during the winter in Minnesota people, and it happens every year. Really.  Realizing that when my mother chooses to go home (a euphemism for dying, yes), I will be the oldest in my tribe.

Age has always befuddled me.  Society has rules that are adjudged severely.  I was forever too young to be old enough, to do everything!  Then I was too old to be cool, and now I’m too old to ever be young again!  And yet, other than the occasional… OK, regular, and often annoying reminder from my body, I don’t feel old.  

Am I going to die?  Yep, I believe the evidence is irrefutable, this body will at some point leave this mortal coil.  As I write this I’m sitting in the lobby of a medical mall in Beverly Hills, watching people escort their hobbling relations to and from the myriad body shops.  Why did “planned obsolescence” ever surprise anyone?  It’s the way we are built!  Nature.  Has anyone ever considered filing a grievance about the poor design of this body?  Hell, even Toyota had to recall vehicles recently!  And don’t start telling me that if I’d take proper care of it, yada, yada… even Jack LaLanne’s body gave up, and that sucker could pull a boat with his teeth while swimming! 

Where was I? Oh yeah. I don’t feel old.

The only thing that has changed perceptibly for me is time.  While I believe time is infinite, I’ve become acutely aware that on this plane of existence, it is a limited commodity.  I realize there are many of you who figured this out at a much younger age, bear with me, I’m an Aries, and a man.  How I use time, has become a priority.  Who, Where, What or Why I use or spend it: is now a conscious part of my life.  I’ve become selfish with my time.  It really pisses me off that now that I’ve finally figured out this little secret of life – time has chosen to move faster.  No really.  Just trust me.  It has.

The good news is that I’ve started, well restarted a career as an actor.  And surprise, surprise, they say it takes time!  Time to hone your skills.  It takes time to build relationships with people, Casting Directors, Agents and Producers.  Time to shoot and market a film.  It takes time for your audience, to find your films.  It takes time.

I saw a quote attributed to Adrien Brody recently, “My dad told me, “It takes fifteen years to be an overnight success”, and it took me seventeen and a half years.”  This made me want to start desperately negotiating with the Time Police.  Listen, I was here for 11 years kicking it, 25 years ago.  Do they count?   Or, does it have to be continuous time served?  If you count those 11 years and then add the 3 I’ve been back this time, that’s 14 – so I’ve only got another year to go before I hit, before I’m an overnight success.  Right?  Please!  Right?  Wait!  Whoa Nelly!  Screw Adrien Brody’s father!  What does he know?

Excuse me if I sometimes sound impatient, self-centered or rude.  Excuse me for laughing when I hear people complain that it’s taking to long.  Excuse me when I choose to spend my time with people who are in the full bloom of creation and possibility; who choose to live with energy, action and hope.  I forgive you your age. Please forgive me mine.

I’m new at this and all I’ve got is time, and I’m spending it fast.

I’m ready. I’m prepared. It’s time.

Namaste,

Lon